50 Nifty-keen Things To Do With Pickles
for more suggestions, ask Martha Stewart

1. Eat it. Duh.
2. Assault your neighbours with green projectiles.
3. The tastiest Christmas tree ornament you ever saw (ate?).
4. Mr. Picklehead?
5. Name one and keep it as a pet.
6. Learn to juggle. You can try the flaming chainsaws later.
7. Sew little pickle clothing. Start a fashion line.
8. Attach a string and have the coolest keychain in the whole world.
9. Four words: mashed pickles and gravy.
10. Clean out all that excess earwax.
11. Carve green action figures for your kid brother.
12. Build a tasty emergency raft.
13. Pickles: the new way to stretch your earlobes.
14. Host the coolest party in the school by serving pickle hors d'ouvres.
15. Stuff them in your ex's exhaust pipe.
16. Give a pickle a nice, friendly hug.
17. Use the jar as drum and two pickles as your sticks. Start a band. Name it "My Pickle is Bigger Than Your Pickle."
18. Darts. Special darts.
19. Step one: Pickle. Step Two: Toothpick. Step Three: Freezer. Conclusion: Mmmmmm, picklecicle.
20. A substitute for a candyraver's pacifier.
21. Carve one into a dreidle and celebrate Chanukah like a pro with your Jewish friends.
22. Send them to your friends for the holidays. No one likes fruitcakes anyway.
23. Badminton just got better.
24. Use a pickle to plug that hole in your leaky canoe.
25. Ever heard of a pickle bong? Me neither. But it might work.
26. Drop them out windows on unsuspecting passers-by.
27. Hollow out the big ones for fashionable shoes.
28. Grind 'em up, make patties and grill them for pickleburgers.
29. Use it as a bookend. Hell, flatten it and use it as a bookmark.
30. Who needs a boyfriend?
31. Sculpt an idol. Worship it.
32. Plant one and hope it grows into a pickle-tree.
33. Start a pickle modelling agency. Display the prettiest ones in your window.
34. The new, improved pincushion.
35. Use a pickle as the flashy centre-piece on your Thanksgiving table.
36. Set them on fire. Throw them at ex-girlfriends.
37. Feed a bunch to your neighbours' dogs. See if they actually eat them.
38. Nail a dozen to your wall. Call it art. Earn big bucks.
39. Slice one real thin, use it as shoelaces, call yourself Ally McPicklefeet.
40. Bottlerocket them airborne on July Fourth.
41. Make a healthy bowl of pickle soup, add a pickle-smoothie, and finish it off with pickle ice cream.
42. Make a pickle-mation movie about boycotting clay.
43. Fish-tank decor.
44. Use them as curlers. Have tasty smelling hair afterwards.
45. The multipurpose pickle. Doorstop, paperweight. Just paint it to match your home.
46. A cheap and colourful alternative to Lincoln Logs. Buy them for your kids.
47. Put wheels on them and race against your friends. Award pickles to the winners.
48. Pickles make divine wine-bottle corks.
49. Hollow one out and make a straw.
50. Put a pickle under a wobbly table leg. Rejoice.